ABA parent coaching: strategies to use at home between sessions

However good the therapist, they are with your child for a few hours a week. You are with your child for most of the rest. That is why parent coaching belongs in any well-run ABA programme: it is how the strategies that work in a session keep working at breakfast, at bath time and on the way out of the door. This article explains what coaching involves, and the strategies families most often use between sessions.

What parent coaching is, and is not

Parent coaching is not homework, and it is not a course that turns you into a therapist. It is the BCBA and the therapist showing you, in your own home, the specific strategies being used with your child, explaining why they work, watching you try them and helping you adjust. It might be a few minutes at the end of a session, a conversation at the monthly review, or the therapist talking you through a hard moment as it happens.

The aim is consistency. If the therapist waits for your child to ask for the juice and you hand it over before they can, the two approaches work against each other. Coaching makes sure everyone in the house is pulling the same way: parents, helpers, grandparents and, where they are old enough, siblings.

It should also fit your life. A good coach starts with one or two strategies for the hardest parts of your day, not a list of twenty things to change at once.

Reinforcement: noticing what goes well

Reinforcement simply means that what happens after a behaviour makes it more likely to happen again. In practice, it often means catching your child doing something well and making it worth their while.

• Be specific. "You put your shoes on by yourself!" teaches more than "good boy".
• Be quick. Praise or a reward straight after the behaviour is much clearer to a young child than one an hour later.
• Use what your child actually likes. For some children it is praise; for others a tickle, a turn with a favourite toy, or a minute of a song.
• Give more attention to the behaviour you want than the one you do not. Children often learn that difficult behaviour gets the fastest response. Shifting that balance is one of the most useful changes a family can make.

Visual schedules and first-then boards

Many children cope better when they can see what is coming. A visual schedule is a row of pictures or words showing the steps of a routine — wake up, toilet, clothes, breakfast, shoes, car — that your child can look at and tick off. It cuts down the number of spoken instructions and makes the day predictable.

A first-then board is a smaller version with two steps: "first shoes, then park". It helps when your child needs to do something less preferred before something they want. Keep the "first" short and achievable to begin with, and always deliver the "then" once it is done.

Warnings before transitions help too. "Two more turns, then bath", said calmly, with a picture or a timer if that suits your child, gives them time to prepare rather than being pulled away mid-game.

Offering choices

Children who have little control over their day often push back hardest when an adult decides everything. Offering choices gives some control back in small, safe ways: "Do you want the red cup or the blue cup?", "Shoes first or coat first?", "Bath with the boat or the duck?"

Two clear options work better than an open question. Both should be options you are happy with, so whichever your child picks, the routine moves on. Choices also give your child a reason to communicate, whether by pointing, saying a word or handing you a picture.

Clear requests, and following through

How a request is given makes a difference. Get close, get your child's attention, and say it once, simply: "Shoes on, please." Rather than repeating it five times, give your child a moment to respond, then help them through it if needed and praise the effort. Phrasing a request as a question — "Shall we put your shoes on?" — invites a "no" you then have to overrule.

None of these strategies are magic, and they work better when they are tailored to your child. The BCBA can tell you which ones fit your child's programme, and how to adapt them when they stop working. For particular challenges, our guides to meltdowns and tantrums, mealtimes and sleep go further.

At Special Minds, parent coaching is part of every ABA programme. A BCBA writes and reviews the programme, an RBT delivers the sessions and shows you the strategies as they are used, and a responsible adult is present at home for every session, which makes learning alongside the therapist a natural part of the week. Read more on ABA therapy at home and ABA therapy in Dubai.